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How NOT to handle bad breath

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We’ve all been there. You round the corner to your cubical ready to start the day’s work while you are suddenly accosted by the familiar stench of a co-worker’s bad breath.

“Here we go again…”, you imagine. “Another ‘H’-filled tirade that wont ever permeate my ears because I’m too busy trying to keep it from permeating my nose.”

“So anywahhhhy,” continues your co-worker, “Hhhhank Hhhhenshhhhaaw from Hhhhuman Reshhhhourcess explained ouhhhhhr 401k plahhhhn can be an outstahhhhnding invehhhhhstment optiohhhhhn…”

Somehow, we’d like to think that our forced smile and wilting eyelashes might tell the offending party that there’s something less than stellar concerning the way they are coming across. Unfortunately, that’s simply wishful thinking. The thing is that no one knows they will have a problem. We seem to be immune to your own stench, and unlike Willy Nelson’s muse, it’s never on our minds.

So how do you tell someone that their breathe is causing you to have a problem differentiating their head from their derriere? Sure, whether it’s someone you know and are comfortable with, you can try honesty. Still, even honesty has it’s own group of problems. Can you play it off like it’s a one-time occurrence you just noticed and hope that mentioning it requires care of the situation once and for all? Can you sit them down and also have a serious discussion which could ultimately embarrass them or make you appear to be the bad person? How will they react to either scenario? You’d desire to be told if you had bad breath, wouldn’t you? Can you feel safe being told by this person who you have bad breath? You don’t know them well enough to be discussing this situation with them?

These are all important questions whose answers will change with each unique situation. Still, there are a few things it is possible to avoid saying that are universal across all situations. I’ve taken the liberty of listing a few of them below. Remember, honesty is the best policy, but brutal honesty is frequently unnecessary.

# 1 Gee, is that your breath or did I blow my nose immediately after wiping my ass?

# 2 And now here’s me with the weather: Thanks, me! Well http://mioidama.cloud-line.com/blog/ looks like there’s a stank front moving due east from wherever the mouth area happens to be. We’re looking at a 100% chance of Halitosis throughout the rest of your life. Sports is next accompanied by today�s lottery numbers. Stay Tuned!

# 3 I don’t mean to be rude but your horrible breath is melting my face. To possess to stand here and listen to you is agonizingly painful. Hey, you ever see that “Alien” movie where the alien is sucking in Sigourney Weaver’s face and she just cringes because the thing is indeed scary and because it’s saliva can be an acid that can eat through metal? This is usually a lot like that because even though your saliva won’t eat through metal, I’m fairly certain your mouth-stench will which is scaring the crap outta me, my pal. Again, I don’t mean to be rude…

So you see, dear reader, one must choose carefully when approaching a subject this sensitive. Perhaps honesty isn’t always the best policy. Better yet, why not just leave an anonymous note…and a breath mint.

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